Lamb
by Kristen-Porterdochter
Summary: Edward Elric announces his plans to resurrect their mother to his two younger siblings, Alphonse and Emelia. All become confident they will succeed and prepare to break the greatest taboo of alchemy.


**I don't own anything Fullmetal Alchemist. **

Edward's determined speech at mother's gravesite was received with guilt-filled hope. We did not speak of it for a few days. It wasn't until in the early hours of a cold morning days later that my brother Alphonse made his decision.

"I miss her hugs the most. They were always so warm and comforting." The young boy sniffed in the dark, burrowing his face into his pillow.

None of us could sleep. It was the nights that were the hardest. Pinako offered for the orphans a place in her house, but the Elrics refused. They couldn't leave their house empty and cold.

I rolled to the soft confession. Ashamed, my mouth opened without my permission. "_I just want to see her again." _In that moment, my mind's eye opened and I could see the lush green of the Resembool, my brothers' golden hair, and my mother's kind gray eyes. It had been too long since I had seen my mother's chestnut locks shining under the warm Eastern sun. The flash golden eyes behind square spectacles joined the happy vision.

Edward made a small noise. He was past the grieving stage, already counting the days until his mother was home and he did not have worry about his siblings, the house, their future. The sudden pressure and responsibility almost bowed his legs, but he was strong, he was smart, he would bring their mother back.

That was the beginning of the end. I knew the taboo human transmutation held and only after hours of research knew the dangers. But Edward was so determined, Alphonse was so hopeful, and I began to feel the lure of the whispered promise, the beautiful world dancing just beyond our reach.

Edward would spin glorious fantasies of a golden future. We were hungry and lapped it up like starving animals. The present was too dark to be real. Never had we done anything wrong, how could we deserve this fate? Alphonse was nervous though. I swiftly joined my brother in soothing him.

We were gifted and driven. We wanted it more than anything in the world. We would succeed where countless others have failed. After all, it was science, it was alchemy. I would have mother back. I would unlock the secrets of the departed. I would conquer death.

Alchemists often dedicate themselves to a particular subject in the science. Edward was gifted at most he put his mind to, but earth manipulation was his best. Alphonse was brilliant and devoted himself to the transformation of inorganic objects to lifelike mimics of nature. This skill he developed and used solely to make flowers for our mother and for myself. I would watch my brothers, read books, and develop theories.

Of course, we were only young children at the time, brilliant children, but children just the same. We were great alchemists, better than most adults and our obsession with resurrecting mother developed us into some of the best alchemists of our time. Quickly abandoning the chosen fields of our childhood, we set to work under that forbidden subject of human transmutation.

We studied, we trained under a strict alchemist for nearly a year, and then we went home. Mother died there, it would only make sense for her rebirth to be there. I carefully drew the circle that did The Deed, Edward measured the ingredients for The Deed, Alphonse watch nervously on the sideline, his face flickering between excitement and anxiety as fickle as a flame.

And the lighting is what I remember the most from That Night. It seemed warm and inviting at first. We had not been home in months, mother had been gone for years, and suddenly our life was going in the right direction. Many candles filled the room, because it was dark in the basement and we needed light for precision. Alphonse's face literally changed with the roll of the light. Happy, flicker, nervous, flicker, a smile, flicker, he bit his lip. Edward was happy though, confident and the ingredients of mother's new body rolling of his tongue like a familiar, reverent prayer.

"…..7.5 grams: iron, 5.6 grams: silicon, 3 grams, and the 15 trace elements… Okay! You done Em?"

I finished the last detail carefully and studied my notes. "I think so."

My voice was eager, as was I. I could see my family now, mother back and the Elrics lauded as the most brilliant alchemists in the world. No one would be greater than the three siblings that conquered death itself. _And maybe father would…._

It was ready. Alphonse padded over, a look of wonder and hope overtaking his features. I felt invincible at that moment, my body strong from training, my mind having not a doubt this would work. Years of research and alchemic theories would come to a successful end. I could see it now, the love and pride we would be upheld with. Mother will be there and the whole world would know of us and our accomplishment.

Ed's knees trembled, but remained straight and strong. As the eldest son, he was the leader of our broken household. Mother's resurrection would herald the return of his golden childhood years. Alphonse's hands shook and I knew they would be the first to wrap around her. My eyes swelled with anticipation and pride. _This is it, now is the time._

The lighting of the basement changed as we activated the circle. A radiant blue light that warmed me to the core. This was the color of alchemy in progress. Something very familiar and comforting.

But seconds after we exchanged excited grins and ground our palms onto the ground harder, the light changed. A cool chill swept through the room, killing most of the candles' fragile life. The blue flickered and was gone suddenly, plunging the basement into frightening darkness for a second. Then the circle pulled, and we gasped as one. Energy was dragged to the crate where mother's ingredients laid, the room glowed an awful red.

_ This isn't right._

As that thought rolled from my head, something moved in the circle. Mother was forming, I could see that now, but something more. A doorway appeared and opened up, dark and forbearing. I heard Ed scream something and suddenly something shot past me.

Alphonse. His mouth was open, screaming for us. Blackness gripped him and pulled him towards the gaping doorway. My brother's arms stretched for us. I yanked my hand off of the circle and reached, Edward mirroring my motions. As soon as I touched Alphonse's trembling hand, he was gone, broken into millions of pieces and vanished through the hungry door.

"ALPHONSE!" Edward screeched.

I was quiet, my always whirling mind curiously blank. Only blind confusion and panic reached my thoughts. _What is happening to us?_

At my side, Edward let out a terrible cry and fell over. He was clutching at his leg and screaming. Before I could react, his leg disintegrated just like Alphonse. That was the last thing I saw before my head started burning and I realized the Truth.

_** "Hello, little alchemist."**_

Everything was white. The voice sounded deeply amused. My brothers were gone. My mind spat out these fragments in the desperate hope that I could figure out what was happening, where I was. It didn't help.

I turned around. There was a gray gateway behind me. It was made of stone and standing in the sea of white with what seemed like little purpose. A alchemic process was crudely etched into the thick stone. It was small and spidery and chillingly reminded me of my own handwriting. A high laughter distracted me and I whirled around only to see nothing.

"Where are you?!" I yelled, anger somehow finding its way into my voice. My thoughts were devote of any nameable emotion however. Something numb rested in my gut.

Laughter again. _**"I have many names, but perhaps the one you would be the most willing to hear is Truth." **_There was a shift in the whiteness ahead, something even whiter curled upward. Teeth grinning at me.

"Truth? Truth of what?"

The grin widened. _**"Of everything."**_

Those indescribable feelings inside of me were gaining words behind them now. _Without. Without my brothers. Without my mom. Without my alchemy. Without strength. Without hope._

_** "You and your brothers have sought after the ultimate knowledge of the universe. You come bearing your sin, your shame, and your toll. Are you ready to receive my end of the exchange, little alchemist?"**_

I blinked at the white form ahead of me. I didn't understand. A loud bang sounded behind me, and something snaked around my still body. Whispers filled my ears and suddenly I experienced _it._

_ Pressure in my head. Images, sounds, feelings, tastes, smells. Oh this is what it is. This is alchemy. What have I been doing my entire life? Not this. Images. Red. Blood, the smell of iron. The grind of salt under my fingernails, bile in my throat. Fire behind my eyes, pressure in my head. Smells. Minerals of the earth. This for that. Equivalent exchange. I see it now, I see it everywhere. Millions of facts embedded themselves in my brain. The joining of two hands, a circle. Directing the flow. Oh how stupid we are. Pressure in my head. Energy pulsing in the array, following its design, but all in my head. This is possible. Human transmutation. The circle there before me. There. Someone reaching for me. Truth? My head. Edward or Alphonse? Oh Xerxes, Alphonse. Pressure in my head. I reach for them, feeling warmth and love and fear and desperation…. Mother? But my head. Facts pour in- but my head! I am learning more than I ever thought possible- BUT MY HEAD! I reach for the hand, knowing more waited for me to learn, straining, grunting, crying, scre_aming.

The Pressure is gone, the Truth dwells in my head, or at least a small portion of it. I blink. Whiteness again. The grin remains, and then moves.

_** "Well?"**_

"It was right, it had to be," I muttered, hands going to cover my eyes. _Picture what you saw again, image for image. _"But there's something, something I don't understand. What is it?"

_** "I have given you what you have paid for. The toll has been paid."**_

Frowning I open my mouth. "You say toll, there was only enough for mother, where'd-" I open my eyes. The white world was pitch black. I blinked and squinted.

_** "As I said, little alchemist," **_Truth said, _**"the toll has been paid. It's time for you to go back to your world."**_

There was the rumble of stone behind me and the sensation of million of hands grabbing me and dragging me into a groundless void. The next sense that went off was my sense of hearing. Edward was screaming. The hands were gone. By the smell of mildew and chalk, I concluded we were back in the basement. The rest of the candles must have went out, however. I couldn't see a thing.

Edward stopped screaming and let out a mangled, hope-filled whimper.

"Mother?"

I went still, something was gasping in the dark with us. It was almost as if I had forgotten our original purpose in this dark deed. Mother was in the room with us. But something was not right.

Edward sucked in a deep breath, I used this to crawl towards him. Something hot and thick on the floor stopped me. The gasping that accompanied our quick breathes died out in a wet gargle.

My brother let out a horrible groan. "No… Please someone help, Mother. Please this isn't what we wanted."

"Edward? What is it, Edward?" I withdrew my hand from the sticky mess and peered around in the dark for him.

"Don't look, Emelia. _It's not human." _Ed was crying behind his command, a hard quivering sob that made me feel queasy.

I nodded though there was no way he saw in the lighting. "Alphonse?"

There was a quick intake of breath. "_Alphonse? _No…. No…."

"Ed! What is it?" I scurried through the wetness in the floor. Suddenly the smell reached me. Thick, and metallic, and hot. Blood. "What happened? Is Mother alright? Is Alphonse?"

"He's gone! It's all my fault!"

Whatever lingering confidence I had was snuffed out. All I could do was numbly spit out, "What do you mean gone?"

But Edward didn't seem to hear me. I hear something rip and then pained gasped. It was followed by a shuffling and then a huge crash. I screamed and braced myself, not seeing where the danger was coming from. But all I could hear was Edward's crying.

"No…. No! You can't have him! He's my brother and I love him! Give him back. Take my arm, take my heart! Take whatever you need, he's my brother! Give Alphonse back!"

I knew then what must have happened. "No Edward! It didn't work for-"

A loud clap interrupted me, followed by a strained groan of pain and a wet thump. _What was happening? Why can't I see where they are?_

There was a loud trembling noise, metallic groaning that vibrated the floor. I nearly fell over and cried out, my hand splashing in the blood to keep myself steady. But I heard my younger brother's voice then, low and confused.

"What is this?" There was a hollow tinge to his voice that kept me from crying aloud. I thought he had died. "What is- Brother?"

I cried out then and began crawling to Alphonse.

"I'm sorry, Alphonse," Edward gasped.

My face hit something hard, cold, and metallic. My nose flared up in pain and something hot and thick flowed into my mouth.

"Emelia?" Alphonse murmured in a daze, and a giant hand steadied me.

"I'm sorry, Alphonse." Edward whispered again. "I couldn't save all of you. It was all I could do to bind you to that armor."

"Armor." Alphonse said softly, confused still. "What about Mother?"

A low groan emitted from Edward. "Don't look. It isn't human."

Alphonse must have looked, because he cried out. "What happened? All the research! Edward, your calculations, and the theorems, Emelia!"

"It wasn't that, Al, it was us."

I pulled back from the giant hand that steadied me, crashing back into the blood. "What do you mean, Edward? What is wrong with mom?" I palmed the ground, trying to feel for my brothers, but only found more blood. _This is way too much. Whose is it? Mother's?_

"Emelia?" Alphonse squeaked. "What wrong with you?"

"It's alright, I just fell over." I crawled until I reached dry flooring and then peered at where I thought my brothers were. "What happened? What's going on? Someone get a light."

There was a thick, terrible silence. A moment rolled by and all I heard was Edward's strained gasps. My mouth opened to comment, but Edward bet me to the chase.

"Emelia…. The lights are on."

As the weight of that comment hit me, I heard the loud rattling of metal and a strangled gasp.

"Brother!"

There was a loud clomping ruckus as… Alphonse… scrambled to Edward's side and an even louder sound of my younger brother running up the stairs and out the house to deliver our older brother to get some kind of medical help. A deep breath rolled out of my mouth. My brothers were gone. Off to find help to save Edward's life. A life that was threatened by saving Alphonse's. If that could be called saving.

Helpless as the lambs that grace the fields of Resembool in the spring season, I listened to the hasty footsteps disappear into the night. Then I was alone in the basement of my childhood home, only accompanied by my mother's second corpse. Hands raised to cover my… blinded eyes.

I was useless.

I was no genius. The events that unfolded that night proved that much, but I was still loath to name myself a fool. I knew my brother Edward. He would not be satisfied with the half-life he cursed our little brother with. My elder brother would fight tooth and nail to restore Alphonse's body, even if it turned out to be impossible. Nothing would be that same.

Edward would leave our sleepy little town to tear apart the world for Alphonse. Alphonse would follow. And here I would remain.

After all, what was an alchemist without her sight? What was a person without sight? Definitely not who I had been my entire life. And definitely not someone who could help her brothers journey across the country and study alchemy.

My hands dropped and my head bowed. Eyelids slide over useless orbs, and I cried out, pitiful and unheard. Time passed, tears fell, and I could not see anything. I didn't bother opening my eyes until I heard footsteps approach. Only then did I move. My head turned to the noise and I braced myself for the horrified reactions to come, and my sightless eyes opened in the vain hope of catching the first face I'd miss.

**I wrote this as a one-shot, but may be willing to develop a story out of it if enough people want it. Thanks for reading, please leave a comment telling me what you thought. What did you like, what was bad? Emelia is a fun character, but its kind of hard writing in a blind persceptive. **


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